I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
