hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
try to milk me bitch
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