so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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