Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
