Do you still have your period?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
