Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
