So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
