my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
