sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize