i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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