Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
