Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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