WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize