Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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