Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
