So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
