Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
