Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
