he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
