Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
