i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
