Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
