this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
