I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
