At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
