Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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