I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
