Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
