Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
