pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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