I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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