Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize