Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
