I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
