i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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