Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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