My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize