Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
