I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I want to fling myself into the sun
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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