this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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