Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
