Pappa wants mamma naked
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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