she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
