Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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