dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize