Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
