I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
