put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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