so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
