oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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