it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
