Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
