He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
