She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
