Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
