How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
