Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
