Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
