the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
