dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
