good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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