my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My bed smells like the plague
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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