He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
