Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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