party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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