I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
