i think i have herpe
just one?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
worst night to have a conscience
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
