Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
