C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
