He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
