When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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