that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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