'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize