dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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